You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
