I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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