my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
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