I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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