Me too!
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
it hurts more in the daytime
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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