just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
