I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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