she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
you traded sex for a burrito?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
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