I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
