I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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