remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
