I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I want you more than these girls want KFC
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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