The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
