i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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