i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize