If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
