are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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