I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
