it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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