"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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