BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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