Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
