You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
