I wish my penis had an off switch
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
