She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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