do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
