At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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