then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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