talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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