Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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