At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
