just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
