So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
