Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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