Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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