there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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