dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
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She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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