We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
