I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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