Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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