I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Randomize
