'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
so much tequila, so little girl.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
