i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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