If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize