Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
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