butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
People in love make me want to vomit
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
