After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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