It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
