you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
