how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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