I think I won the penis lottery.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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