Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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