I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
