I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
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