It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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