Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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