I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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