the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
