So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
he thought i was a dude.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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