Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
