Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize