Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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