I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
