I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
and i looked up. we had an audience...
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Is Oprah even human
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
