quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize