god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
