This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
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This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
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I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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