Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
i've created a new STD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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