I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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