I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
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I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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