I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
