Define "chronic" masturbator.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
