I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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